


Ménage à Trois

by Beccax95



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: #FFspringfest2021, Fluff and Smut, Fred Weasley Lives, Fremione Fanatics' Spring Scenes Flash Fest 2021, Funny, No Twincest, Post-War, Sexual Content, mention of MPREG, multiple past relationships, ménage à trois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:20:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29767152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beccax95/pseuds/Beccax95
Summary: I was following Moonfairy13's prompt where 'Rita Skeeter writes an article about Fremione'. I think the only thing I really followed was that Rita Skeeter wrote an article; Skeeter’s Secrets: The Sexual Escapades of The Golden Trio.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley/George Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ron Weasley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35
Collections: Fremione Fanatics Spring Scenes Flash Fest





	Ménage à Trois

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonfairy13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonfairy13/gifts).



**Skeeter’s Secrets: The Sexual Escapades of The Golden Trio**

  
Hello, my most loyal readers, it is I Rita Skeeter with another issue of Skeeter’s Secrets. Today’s issue marks a year since the end of Voldemort’s reign! We couldn’t pass this hallowed day without celebrating the hero’s who ended this war: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley; The Golden Trio. But where are they now, you may find yourselves asking, fear not my dear readers I have gathered all the juiciest, scandalous, and carnal aspects of their lives for you. 

  
For those of you who were loyal readers when I worked at the Daily Prophet, you’d be aware that The Golden Trio’s relationship to each other has often been more than that of simple friendship. During their Fourth Year of Hogwarts when young Harry was the unexpected fourth Triwizard Champion; he and Hermione were in an exclusive relationship. Exclusive that is until his best friend Ronald Weasley got in the way of their love; many sources have confirmed that the well documented rift that year between our saviour and his redheaded friend was not because of Harry’s name coming out of the Goblet as the trio would have you believe. No in fact the rift was caused by both wizards dipping their wands in the same honey pot: Hermione Granger. 

  
The two wizards fought over their beautiful brunette bookworm for months only for her to break both of their hearts when she turned up to the Yule Ball on the arm of Victor Krum. How could Harry and Ron possibly compete with Krum who was older, handsomer and let’s not forget a famous quidditch player in addition to him been the Durmstrang champion. Hermione left her friends heartbroken that night and Harry and Ron reconciled over their shared pain and for a time the trio returned to been nothing but friends.

  
In their later years at Hogwarts each member of the trio was romantically linked to other’s. Harry Potter briefly dated Cho Chang (Ex-Girlfriend of murdered Triwizard Champion Cedric Diggory) in his Fifth year of education before starting an exclusive relationship with Ginny Weasley his best friends’ younger sister. Harry and Ginny dated for a year, Professor Flitwick their Charms professor told me that the pair reminded him of Harry’s parent’s James and Lily Potter. Alas the pair were not to be, and they split at the end of Harry’s Sixth year. Ronald Weasley likewise had a steady girlfriend his Sixth year; Lavender Brown a pretty pureblood who died during the Final Battle. As for our heartbreaker Hermione Granger she was associated with more than one wizard during her later years at Hogwarts: Cormac Mclaggen, Theodore Nott, Neville Longbottom, and Ernie Macmillan. 

  
None of Miss Granger’s brief relationships while in school led to more than a tumble within the sheets or a sweet date at Hogsmeade it would seem. I approached each of her previous flames for comment on their relationships with our favourite Gryffindor Princess. Harry and Ron when approached each refused to comment on their sexual relationship with their friend but her other flames each spoke to me on the matter: 

  
_“Hermione and I went on a date to Hogsmeade during our fifth year, it was fun, but we are better off friends,”_ – Neville Longbottom, sole heir of House Longbottom and recipient of the Order of Merlin First Class told me. Neville received this medal for his efforts to protect the students of Hogwarts during the final year of the war as well as for his participation during the Final Battle of Hogwarts. Neville Longbottom killed Voldemort’s snake Nagini during this battle with the Sword of Gryffindor. Neville a sweet yet plain boy despite his achievements is currently undertaking a Herbology Apprenticeship under Professor Sprout and is engaged to Hufflepuff Hannah Abbott who works at the Leaky Cauldron. 

  
_“Hermy-own is a nice girl, da we went to ball together. She is a wonderful person and good friend,”_ – Victor Krum who is currently Seeker for the Bulgarian National Quidditch team spoke to me recently after a match against Puddlemere United. Victor wore a wistful smile while talking of his past love, perhaps Hermione is the reason he has struggled to maintain a long-term relationship. No woman wants to compete with the memory of one’s first love. It is my hope that Victor will be able to find someone to live his life with.

  
 _“Hermione and I, what didn’t we do, she’s a wildcat you know,”_ \- Cormac Mclaggen, Gryffindor heartthrob and renowned playboy spoke to me with waggling eyebrows and a proud smirk. I think it’s clear from his statement that if Hermione were pure in any way, she certainly wasn’t when he’d finished with her. Cormac who dated her briefly towards the beginning of her Sixth year holds no hard feelings towards our princess, he’s happy to continue playing the field; this year alone he has been linked to nineteen different witches. Cormac, I hope you are being safe in your exploits; muggle STD’s are on the rise and nobody wants unplanned children. 

  
_“Hermione and I had a few dates, it wasn’t anything serious,”_ \- Ernie Macmillan, a handsome Hufflepuff told me when questioned on his previous relationship with Hermione. Our interaction was brief but it’s clear to me that Ernie is over Hermione. Indeed, when I tracked Ernie down, he was sat at a table at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour with a besotted smile on his face as he fed ice cream to his pregnant wife Susan Bones-Macmillan. Both Ernie and Susan were left orphans after the war, I hope their future together is happier than their past. 

  
_“Hermione’s beautiful, a fantastic friend, she helped me to find light in the darkest of times. I’d be lucky to call her my own, but she isn’t. I treasure the memories I have with her.” -_ Theodore Nott son of Death Eater Theodore Nott Sr told me. Hermione and Theo became unlikely friends after been paired together for a school project during their third year, many sources confirm that after the completion of their project often the pair would be found in the library together doing homework and indulging in a shared love of books. The light Theo speaks of is the Order of The Phoenix. When his best friend Draco Malfoy received the Dark Mark aged sixteen, Theo panicked knowing that he’d likely be next. Theo turned to his Muggleborn friend for help and Hermione took him to the Order for protection. Towards the end of the pairs Sixth year their friendship became more of the carnal variety and the pair were often found by both students and teachers in compromising positions. I snuck into Hogwarts’s to look at their school records; the late Professor Severus Snape gave them detention for _‘been out of bed after curfew and engaging in inappropriate sexual behaviour.’_ I will leave that inappropriate sexual behaviour to your imagination my dear readers. It is clear to me that our golden girl was no virgin by the time she left Hogwarts, so it’s no wonder her relationships became more scandalous.

  
I am sure by now that you are all aware that the Golden Trio spent most of the final year of the war living off grid, camping in the wilderness as they completed their mission to defeat Voldemort. Almost a year in a tent, fighting for survival, often starving and cold. It is no wonder that the trio sought solace in each other’s arms. Hermione who had previous sexual relationships with the other members of the trio was more than happy to reignite their passions this time as a ménage à trois. I can only imagine the debauchee the trio experimented with while trying to keep warm on those cold winter nights. 

  
What is certain to me though is that Hermione wasn’t always the filling in their torrid sandwich. Harry Potter had never given any indication that he was attracted to other males until after his extended camping trip with his now ex-lovers. Nobody not even I know what happened to end their sizzling affair but what is clear is that Harry Potter now clearly bats for the other team. One must imagine the sexual prowess of Ronald Weasley whose wand has apparently turned Harry Potter gay. In this post war climate Harry Potter has been caught in compromising positions with both wizards and muggle men alike. After numerous apparent drunken one night stands where; our hero was caught doing many walks of shame I am happy to report that Harry has found his man. 

  
After testifying on behalf of Draco Malfoy and ensuring the young Death Eaters freedom the two former enemies appear to have found love. Over the past five months the two have been photographed together several times looking very much smitten with one another. I can confirm that the two have moved into a London flat together. This flat is an ideal place for the pair to start their lives together as it is close to the Ministry where Harry works as an Auror and St Mungo’s where Draco recently started an apprenticeship in Healing. 

  
Both Harry and Draco refused to comment on the status of their relationship however Narcissa Malfoy, Draco’s mother was more than happy to speak to me: _“I haven’t seen my son happy in such a long time. Harry is a delightful man, and he brings out Draco’s best qualities. I expect the pair will be engaged soon. They’ll have such beautiful children with Draco’s blonde hair and Harry’s emerald eyes.”_

  
Narcissa was simply gushing and I must agree; any future Potter-Malfoy babies would be simply adorable. For those of you who aren’t aware; Draco’s late Godfather Professor Severus Snape created a potion that allows a person to temporarily switch genders until the counter potion is drank; this potion has been praised by same sex couples as it allows them to have biological children. I wonder if Severus created this potion with his godson in mind. I also wonder which one of the pair will carry their future children, perhaps they will take turns. 

  
Since the end of their ménage à trois Ronald Weasley has played the field. In the aftermath of the war Ron spent many months partying, drinking and was even caught snorting Pixie-Dust which though not illegal is known to induce a high like that of the muggle drug cocaine. During the first quarter of this past year Ronald was caught leaving muggle and wizarding establishments with numerous women including his ex-lover Hermione Granger. 

  
Hermione and Ronald were caught more than once after the war in states of undress. I’m sure you all remember the photographs in Skeeter’s Secrets June issue last year where Ron had Hermione pinned to a wall, her legs around his waist as they snogged in an alleyway outside of a muggle nightclub. Hermione and Ron haven’t been pictured together sexually since August of last year and friends of the pair say they made a mutual decision to go their separate ways. This may be in part caused by Ronald falling in love with Luna Lovegood; a pretty blonde-haired witch whose ditsy beliefs in mythical creatures is oddly charming.

  
Ron and Luna had been friends for many years before they were first spotted on August the eighteenth kissing in the Leaky Cauldron. Since that date, the pair have been dating exclusively and are rumoured to be looking for a house together. If the gentle swell of Luna’s stomach is any indication, they will be needing at least two bedrooms in their new home to accommodate for the latest Weasley baby. I tried to speak to the couple myself, but Ronald slammed the door of his parent’s house ‘The Burrow’ in my face and told me that if I didn’t go away, he’d arrest me for trespassing. I wonder if Minister Shacklebolt is aware of his Aurors abusing their power. 

  
Finally, we must discuss the post war sexual exploits of our Femme Fatale, Hermione Granger. In the aftermath of the war Hermione sat her NEWT’s at the Ministry, passing them with the highest scores in the past century. After passing her NEWT’s Hermione has been working closely with Minister Shacklebolt to remove outdated laws in an unprecedented ministry overhaul. Inside sources suggest that while Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt is the face and leader of our society, Hermione Granger is in fact secretly running everything behind the scenes, this may be why so many creature protection acts have passed in recent months. We all know that Miss Granger has a history of trying to help the underdogs in society, her activism for mistreated creatures started when she was still in Hogwarts forming the organisation SPEW to protect House Elves. 

  
When not running our country Hermione can often be found on nights out in wizarding and Muggle London. Like her former lovers Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley; Hermione has spent many a night partying and shagging in this now peaceful world. Though not as prolific in her exploits as her male friends; Hermione was pictured leaving various bars and nightclubs with at least eight men over the past year including Blaise Zabini the Italian Lothario. 

In recent months however it appears that our favourite sweetheart has found herself not one but two men to spend her life with. That’s right ladies and gentlemen our beautiful Muggleborn has formed a new ménage à trois this time with twins Fred and George Weasley, Ron’s older brothers. The Weasley Twin’s own Weasleys Wizard Wheezes in Diagon Alley, a popular joke shop, it is rumoured the pair are in negotiations to buy Zonko’s in Hogsmeade to expand their business; this expansion would be a good move for the duo as the students of Hogwarts are their main target audience. A store close to the school will certainly increase their revenue. 

The Weasley twins have a history of sharing girlfriends and it appears that their latest relationship may be their last. Hermione has been pictured with the twins many times over the past few months and recently put her late parents’ house where she had been living after the war up for sale. 

When I went to get a statement from the new trio; they refused to speak to me however one of the twin’s employees Verity Cartwright was more than happy to speak to me when I disguised myself as a teenaged customer. As Verity rung up my order of Wonder Witch products, she had this to say on their new blossoming romance: 

  
_“Oh, aren’t they just the cutest together. Fred and George are the sweetest to Hermione. After what happened at Malfoy Manor, Hermione’s struggled. She puts on such a brave face, but she’s had such a difficult time dealing with what happened to her during the war. Fred almost died and, on some level, the three of them were able to relate to one another in a way other people can’t. I’ve never seen people more in love. Hermione’s moved into the flat upstairs with them and I know Fred and George are planning on proposing to her soon. You should see the ring they’ve made her it’s gorgeous.”_

How romantic of them to find love while healing from their experiences. I’m sure you are all aware that Hermione was tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange at Malfoy Manor; for over an hour she was placed under the cruciatus curse. Many of Bellatrix’s victims have lost their minds while under the cruciatus but our princess fought it and didn’t reveal a single secret while enduring her torture. Bellatrix then carved into Hermione’s flesh with a cursed blade, to this day Hermione wares the scared ‘Mudblood’ on her arm with pride, a scare to remind her that she can overcome anything. Fred Weasley likewise suffered during the war after he almost died in the final battle. Fred was crushed by a wall that fell on him and spent three months in St Mungo’s recovering in an induced coma. Sources from inside the hospital confirm that Fred almost stopped breathing multiple times before his recovery and that they didn’t expect him to survive. One can only imagine the emotional turmoil this had on George who had never spent a day apart from his other half. I’m sure they are thankful that they get to continue together in this world with their new lover at their side. 

  
So, there you have it my loyal readers; it seems to me that a year on from the war all members of our Golden Trio have found love. Though not with one another as myself and many of you loyal readers had hoped for, I am happy that our young hero’s have found people to love in this new world. This issue won’t be the last you hear of our darling’s however and I predict that future issues of Skeeter’s Secrets will feature, engagements, weddings, and many babies. 

* * *

_“Why are you reading that drivel, Mione,”_ Fred asked walking into their kitchen with a yawn as Hermione set Rita Skeeter’s latest issue down on the worn wooden table in front of her.

  
 _“I asked her that myself and she told me she had to know thy enemy,”_ George responded as he plated up three plates of pancakes with bacon and maple syrup. 

  
_“And what have you learnt of your enemy,”_ Fred asked as he began to pour three glasses of orange juice.

  
 _“She was pretty factual this month, she detailed the sexual exploits of Harry, Ron and I. There were only a few errors in the article actually,”_ she told them smiling in thanks as George placed a plate of pancakes in front of her. Fred then passed her a glass of orange juice and both twins kissed her cheeks as they took their places at their small kitchen table.

  
 _“So, which of her facts were fictitious,_ ” George asked after swallowing a mouthful of pancakes. 

  
_“If Skeeter is to be believed Harry, Ron and I had a ménage à trois while searching for Horcruxes. We rekindled the sexual relationship she reported in our fourth year apparently,”_ she told them feeling disgusted.

  
_“You were in a ménage à trois before us, I feel betrayed,”_ Fred joked, his hand over his heart as though she had hurt his feelings, Hermione chuckled.

 _“As you know you two are the only ménage à trois I have been a part of, and I don’t like calling it that.”_ she replied.

  
 _“We know love,”_ George reassured. 

  
_“So other than saying that you were sexually involved with Harry who is essentially your brother and that Harry and Ron were buggering which they weren’t did she say anything else that was fictitious,”_ Fred asked squeezing her right hand in his.

  
 _“Cormac implied to her that we were sexually involved when he knows perfectly well all he’s ever done to me is grope me and molest my mouth when we got stuck under enchanted mistletoe together,” s_ he grumbled, shoving a piece of bacon into her mouth. 

  
_“We shall get revenge on your behalf, our love,”_ they promised solemnly together. 

  
_“I did shrink his penis with a spell I found but perhaps he needs a reminder not to spread lies about me. I’m not denying I have a sexual past, but I will not stand by and let people claim to have had me when they haven’t,”_ she told them angrily.

  
 _“So how much did she get right,”_ George asked her quietly before sipping his orange juice.

  
_“That I dated Victor who is apparently still in love with me, clearly Rita hasn’t learnt of his secret marriage to Julia yet. She knew about my few dates with Ernie and a date I had with Neville, she also detailed my sexual past with Theo, Ron, and Blaise. She knows about our relationship as well,”_ she told them pausing to eat more of her breakfast.

  
 _“Apparently, I’ve had sex with at least seven other men which is a lie. I’ve only ever had sex with five people. She’s also aware of the seriousness of Harry and Draco’s relationship and that Luna and Ron are expecting a baby together,”_ she finished as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. 

  
_“Anything else love,”_ Fred asked as he refilled her glass of juice. 

  
_“Verity let slip that the two of you were going to propose, luckily you’ve already done that, I cannot believe that stupid little Beatle would put that in the article, she could have ruined your proposal plans,”_ she told them irritably.

  
 _“She didn’t though, we proposed last week, and it was perfect,”_ George told her lifting her left hand to kiss the amethyst and diamond engagement ring on her ring finger. The twins had made the beautiful ring for her specially, set into a platinum band, one purple amethyst sat surrounded by five diamonds. Hermione loved that the ring looked like a flower and the twins had told her that amethysts were magically powerful and were known to protect the wearer from night terrors. Should she ever have to sleep without them, the ring would ward off nightmares.

  
 _“We can plot the downfall of Rita Skeeter later. You little witch should be naked in our bed, it’s a crime to be dressed this early on a Sunday morning,”_ Fred told her with a lascivious smile as he charmed the plates and glasses to wash themselves. 

  
_“Well, you know I hate to break rules, perhaps we should rectify that,”_ she told him pushing away from the table, she stood up and crossed her arms in front of her so she could pull the purple thigh length t-shirt she was wearing over her head. Hermione smirked at the duel groans her men made when her naked body was revealed to them. 

  
_“Oh, you naughty witch, eating breakfast with no underwear on,”_ George whispered in her ear as he stood behind her, his hardened member grinding against her arse. George’s left hand tweaked the pebbled nipple of her left breast while the fingers of his right hand dipped into her soaked folds. George swiped his fingers through her wet heat twice before thrusting his fingers into her. Hermione moaned, her hips thrusting against his hand.

 _“You’ve been a very naughty girl Mione,”_ Fred told her, as he leaned down kissing her heatedly.

  
 _“You’d better punish me then,”_ she moaned desperately.

  
 _“You’re right, we should,”_ Fred told her as he dropped to his knees, lifting her right leg over his shoulder, his tongue ran over her clitoris as George’s fingers continued thrusting within her pussy. George who stood behind her was the only thing supporting her quivering body, as both twins worked in tandem to bring her to what would be the first of many orgasms.

  
 _“Oh, we intend to punish you Miss Granger,”_ George whispered huskily against her ear before biting down on her neck, Hermione’s whole-body shook at the force of her release, her walls clenching around George’s fingers as Fred gently licked her clean. 

  
_“You taste delicious,”_ Fred told her after licking her a final time and lowering her shaking leg back to the ground.

  
 _“You really do,”_ George told her as he licked her release from his fingers.

  
 _“You also still need to be punished,”_ Fred told her firmly with a glint in his eye that made Hermione whimper, her folds creaming with anticipation.

  
 _“To the bedroom, Miss Granger,”_ George ordered her, spanking her bared bottom with his large hand. Hermione groaned at the contact and was rewarded with another firm hit for disobedience when she didn’t move quick enough. With a giggle she ran, towards their bedroom, her men stripping off as they followed behind her. She really was one lucky witch with two handsome wizards: her own ménage à trois. She couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life been loved, punished, and pleasured by them. 


End file.
